Why I'm so Forgetful

​I can’t seem to remember anything these days. 

Last year a couple friends and I were playing a game where you decide who in the group is most like a card that’s drawn from the pile. They both unanimously agreed that I deserve the card “has old people tendencies as they can’t remember shit”.

I didn’t think people noticed my forgetfulness. I was wrong. Over a year later this has stuck with me, the common knowledge that I can’t remember. 

I’m forgetful and I think it has to do with my struggle to pay attention.

I was recently visiting a hospital ward for work and listening to the nurses talk. I can remember the days when I was working on a ward and talking the same talk. Then I thought “I couldn’t do this now as I can’t remember anything. I’d forget to do my charting or forget how to do a procedure and probably end up hurting someone”. 

I was in a downward spiral of negative self talk and it needed to stop. I was being overly critical of myself. I quickly turned my thoughts into gratification for the nurses who were on the ward that day. I acknowledged the decisions I’ve made in my career to work outside of the hospital ward environment. I acknowledge that it’s a learned skill to work in the hospital ward and the nurses there are very talented. I also acknowledged that at this time in my life, with small children and not enough sleep, my brain isn’t at its sharpest and that’s okay.

Physically, I show up to many places. I show up to work, conversations, meetings, parties, bedtimes with the kids, etc.

Mentally, I don’t show up very often. I have multiple thoughts constantly flooding my brain. These thoughts make the experience in front of me hard to focus on. And if I’m not mentally present for the situation, how do I expect myself to remember it. This is why I’m forgetful. 

Being present, is also known as mindfulness. It’s focusing on the things happening currently in front of you. You purposely are paying attention to one thing. You can choose to be aware of your surroundings, your emotions, your thoughts or how you body feels. You may need to learn to be present, as I do. I’m still a work in progress.